Is Your Willpower Directing You — Or Has It Become the Other Way Round?

Probably it’s you directing your will power, and it’s not the other way around anymore! And if this has been going on for too long, then you’d better acknowledge it and do something about it.

If the going gets tough, the tough gets going!

I read the above quote when I was 7 years old, and I understood it’s meaning about 4–5 years later. But I realized it’s essence another four to five years later.

Photo by Zhang Kenny on Unsplash

If you are stuck in stage 2, like I did, then let me clear it out for you. When you are chasing a goal, a dream, a task — and when you start facing difficulties and adversities on your path (this is the if the going gets tough part), you either back out, or you fight! Basically, it’s a flight-or-fight approach. Usually the ones who are tough inside, or to say, have a strong will power are the ones who fight or tackle the situation and move ahead, and they are the ones who keep going (this is the tough gets going part).

Look how the tough people stand out from the majority, i.e. the non-tough folks. How? A strong willpower is what sets them apart. Now, do you have a will power of your own. Or, you just think that you have it, but you actually don’t because it is being controlled by your fearful or lethargic mind?

Maybe you cannot answer the question outright so easily, because you are confused, or you want to escape it because it will make you realize how much you have deviated from your actual goals, from your real passion.

What Weakens the Willpower — And What Actions to Take

Well, let me list out few reasons, or incidents, from personal account — either experienced myself, or saw a friend or relative go through — that can make you less active, and prevent you from acting to achieve a goal

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

1. Lazy, Outright — You are simply lazy, end of story. Even when you think of something motivational, your mind will come up with an excuse to oppose it and that will easily convince you that it’s best to stay as you are, because things won’t get better.
   Action — Well, move you a** and start something. Beginning something needs the maximum push, but once you begin something, you will, in most cases, feel like continuing it and working towards what you have started. Just push yourself once and start off with whatever it is, your mind has been convincing you not to do!
2. Losing interest midway — Often, we start something, and lose interest very soon. It could be because either we expect results to soon, and not achieving them too early can be demotivating enough to make us drop it entirely. Sometimes we might lose interest realizing that it was something that only looked good in our head, but we aren’t enjoying it as much in real life. If it’s the latter scenario, it’s ok — you can just accept it, and maybe it is good to drop something midway, in that case.
   Action — In case yours is the former scenario, then you need to accept that results will follow, but you must entirely focus on your actions. Your actions are in your control, keeping them consistent is in your control, but the results are not! As Lord Krishna rightly said in the Holy Hindu Scripture “Bhagavad Gita”, that once must focus on his or her actions, without thinking of the fruit, that is what you must do.
3. Criticism from others — Sometimes you start on something. Say, you started a YouTube channel, and some haters drop negative comments on your first few videos; that can put you into a negative feedback loop from where you will spiral down into thinking that you aren’t good enough and you should stop with this whole YouTubing idea. Or sometimes, some of your friend might point too many negative aspects, and demoralize you.
   Action — I personally used to get disturbed a lot, when someone pointed out a mistake in my work, or when someone used to tell me what could have been better. But now I really look forward to such feedback, because these people eventually help you to improve. You definitely need to know how much to take in and how much of it can be stashed in a bin, but take a pause, listen or hear to all the things people say are bad or could have been better, and take another look at your work. If it really can be improved, then work towards it and get better. In simple words, use such criticism in your favor!
4. Lack of support — Everyone has a different personality. Some people, like me, seek some sort of acknowledgement and moral support from people closer to us, before beginning something new, or even when we are stuck midway. But what if you don’t have any such network, or have friends or family in different time zones, of for any reason are not able to connect with them frequently and have the much needed discussions with them?
   Action — It can be hard, but think of it this way; you are going to do something because you like it, because you want to, so why not just go ahead with it, without contemplating too much over it, without hearing first what others have to say? Sometimes taking a leap of faith is very important, and when critics aren’t available, you must take one! In the worst case, you can connect with someone in the related field, someone very random, and get their opinion around it — you never know, they might give you the best advice!
5. Comparing — While going through Instagram, did you stumble upon an old friend’s picture, of him or her travelling a lot, and you are confused what you did wrong to not be at their place? Or going through your LinkedIn feed and seeing a former colleague reaching milestones that you are still far from? Such information can really upset you, and have a long term effect too! These images will get stuck in your head, and prevent you from pushing yourself, they will make you feel that you have lost the opportunity, and it is late for anything to be done.
   Action — Well, it is really never too late to start off on a path, for one. Warren Buffet became a billionaire after the age of 50! Everyone is on their own clock, you should just not compare yourself with others, and not feel miserable or victorious on the basis of how you have done in your life compared to them. Your life’s path is unique to you, try to make the best of it, try to do what you love and what you are good at, try to be content and happy! That is what your primary goal should be, and if someone else is doing good, you should feel good about it, and if they aren’t, it’s always good to check on them as a friend and help out in case you can. Try to be the best version of yourself, after all!
6. Past or early failures — Sometimes we might feel too affected by past failures, in some totally unrelated work. For instance, failing in a Mathematics in 9th standard can affect you on a random day while you are pursuing a M.Sc. in Mathematics, and make you think, “oh, I was not good at it then, how can be now?”. Or sometimes, failing in something that you are just starting can cause a beginner’s blow and might prevent you from continuing doing it.
   Action — Failures are our greatest teachers. Put this in your head, right now! Failing is much better than not trying at all. It’s best to learn from the failures of others, but some lessons are learnt hard, and they are learnt for the best. When you fail at something, do an analysis around it, and make sure you take out a positive learning from it, and ensure that you don’t make the same mistake or fall in the same pattern that lead to such a failure. If you make the same mistake twice, it will not be a mistake (winking to that).

With that, I hope you gain back control of your will, and with a positive attitude burning inside, get, set and start on that idea/project/task that you have been thinking to start on or continue, and see it through all the way to the finish line!

Do leave some claps if you found this helpful or encouraging in the tiniest bit, and share it if you feel this might be helpful to someone you know. Smallest of appreciation can do wonders :)